Good News...

Yesterday evening I received a call from the Vice-President of Serena Software (the company that bought the company I worked for) with news that I'm being kept on board. This is a relief to be sure. Throughout the day yesterday I had been receiving e-mails from friends who had received word that today would be their last day. I was starting to get a bit concerned.

Thank you everyone who kept my employment situation in their prayers.
- posted by Steve R. @ 6:44 AM

 
"And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one." Matthew 6:13

I just got a call from Marcia. We have a new puppy... Well, she's about 6 months old, now... And she is trouble waiting to happen. It seems that she has discovered toilet paper and is now grabbing the end of the roll and running through the house with it in her mouth. If it's not the toilet paper, she's chewing the cable to the TV or eating a shoe. One of her favorite things now is when we have company, she'll bring the guest a pair of underwear from out of the laundry basket as a courting gift. If we let her out into the fenced in back yard... She makes a bee-line for the pond. She's a digger, so now the back yard looks like a bombing range. A week ago she figured out how to open the front door so she could take a walk on her own terms and not have to wait for us to go with her on a leash. This cute little ball of fur is now 45 pound of shear mischief. If there is ANYTHING she can get in to... She will. Our vet just laughs and says, "Puppies will be puppies."

What's sad is I'm just like Sandi. If there is something that I'm not supposed to do... I'm there. It's not that I mean to be bad... I just find sin on my own. I love to experience life to the full... And sometimes I act before I think. The apostle Peter and I are buds, I think.

This verse needs to become my mantra... Don't lead me into temptation. Of course, God won't put more on me than I can bear... But there are days where my tolerance for resisting temptation is mighty intolerable. I have to remember the source of these temptations are not from God... But from the Evil One. The prayer is really, give me strength to resist evil. My lack of resistance is where I build up my debts that I read about yesterday. I need help... No... I need to start listening and stop making excuses for the choices that I make on my own.

For all the trouble Sandi gets in to... We love her. She is a joy when she comes and lays her head in our laps wanting to be petted... Or when she brings a toy to us to play. She brings an energy to the house that was not there before her arrival. She loves to be petted and stroked, and I love petting her. I wonder if that's how God feels about me?

Father, I wonder if there are times you call Jesus over and say, "I'm gonna kill that boy?" If you sometimes smile at my antics... But hate my actions. I know you love me no matter what. Your Word says that even when I was totally unloveable, you loved me so much you sent Jesus to provide me obedience training. Thank you for loving me that much. Now, I need to respond by living according to your desires. Father, Lead me not into temptation and deliver me from Satan.
- posted by Steve R. @ 6:42 AM

 
"Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors." Matthew 6:12

"Forgive us our debts...." I could write for a week just on this passage. The word debts is translated "trespasses" in the common book of prayer, it's also translated "Sins" in some versions. The word "forgive" implies that there is a loosening of a chain. The picture is clear in any case. When I am out of God's will, I am bound by my actions to a debt I can't possibly pay.

But the second part of this verse is the real kicker for me. It is not a suggestion that I drop my harbored anger and resentment to those who have wronged me... It assumes that it's already been done. This verse raises a question for me. Is there is a correlation between the forgiveness I show others and the way I am forgiven. I think there is... For several reasons. One, I've read ahead... It clearly says that is the way it is. Secondly, Christ tells a couple of stories or parables where a fellow owed a debt that was forgiven, and when he refused to forgive a paltry debt owed him, ended up being thrown into prison for it.

I don't have a choice but to forgive those who have wronged me. Trust me, that's a big one! I still harbor a lot of resentment against the ex-wives club, and to be honest, I've tried letting go of it... And the key thought here is, "I've tried". I realize today that I can't let go on it on my own. I'm going to have to lay my resentment and anger at the foot of the cross and leave it there. It's a burden that I'll be glad to get rid of... It saps energy... Steals my focus... Keeps me in chains.

The one thing I have to keep in mind is that forgiveness is a two way process. That as I lay aside the resentments, hurts and anger I hold toward others, those emotions are replaced with God's love. As I lay aside those debts and sins, I also leave behind my own debts and sins... Replaced by a renewed relationship with God. So, if freedom from debt and forgiveness for personal sin is the payoff for forgiving others, why do I want to hold on to those hurts. Is it a kind of machismo that waits for an opportunity for revenge? Is it the desire to vindicate myself of any wrong doing in my relationship to others? Is it some sort of co-dependence that keeps me chained to the emotions of that moment? I don't know for sure... But it really doesn't matter, does it. The expectation is clear. I just have to let it go... And in letting go, I am forgiven by the Father.

Father, letting go is tough. There are hurts, pains, memories of shattered dreams and expectations that have been harbored for years. Now, I read that you expect me to forget about it. Do you have some kind of drug I can take? A pill that blocks out the memories? I know that I choose to forgive on one level, but as soon as I do, the evil one brings it all back to mind. In fact, the act of forgiveness in itself brings it all back. I don't fully understand it, but I turn those harbored resentments over to you today. Thank you for turning over your resentment for my shortcomings... Come to think of it, I've hurt you far more than I've ever been hurt. I really am sorry.
- posted by Steve R. @ 6:05 AM

 
"Give us today our daily bread." Matthew 6:11

I can't say that I've missed very many meals in my lifetime. My lifelong struggle with keeping my weight under control can attest to that fact. For many who would have been listening to Jesus on the day he delivered this sermon that would not have been the case. But this verse says more to me than just that God is a meal ticket.

This is about trust, and the source of all sustenance. I've been extremely blessed: but it is difficult at times to bring to mind that the real source of my blessing is the Lord. Why? My current source of income is as a consultant in a very specialized area of computing called Configuration and Change Management. I'm one of only a couple hundred people in the world that specialize in this area. (So what... all that means is that I'm a Geek?) The irony is that when I reached this point in my career, I had never had taken a computer class in my life. I learned the craft through years of self-study and a natural ability. It's only been recently that I've tried to formalize that training by taking college classes in the field so that I can teach the subject when I decide to leave consulting. In a way, you could say that I'm self-made.

But that's the point of this verse... I'm anything but self-made. In this prayer, I acknowledge that the source of all my blessing comes from God. I don't do that very often... but a recent event forced me to look at life a little differently. It may not seem like much to some people, but it has been a huge stressor in my life. What's that? Yesterday, when I woke up, I found out that I worked for a new employer. I don't know much about what that means yet. I don't know if when my engagement at the Pentagon ends at the end of this month whether or not I'll have a job. I don't know what I'll do to continue to earn a living if I my position is considered redundant. This has nothing to do with performance... my former company's biggest competitor bought my company. There wasn't a thing I could do about it. I'll be attending a teleconference today to find out what this purchase means to me. I don't think that my position will be affected, but I don't know. I guess I'll just have to trust the Father to work out those details... "Give us this day our daily bread."

Father, there is a bit of anx about the day... so keep this verse in my mind. I have a peace that things will work out well... if I don't have a job in the near future... I'll be able to spend time with my wife... work more closely with my church... have an opportunity to learn a new craft. I'd just prefer not to ask people if they want fries with that burger, though. But that's the point isn't it? You are the one who is the provider, and I need to count on that. You've given the promise through Paul that "All things work together for good to them that love you and are called in accordance to your word". So... I won't worry... I won't be anxious... I'll count on you to provide my daily bread. And, "Whatever my hand finds to do, I'll do it with all my might." Thank you for taking care of me, for providing opportunities for me that I could never have done on my own. I'll let you know how things go... sorry -- forgot... you already know.
- posted by Steve R. @ 5:28 AM

 
"your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven. " Matthew 6:10

OK... this verse raises more questions for me than answers. Oh, I know on one level, an intellectual one, that this means the church... or at least an infiltration of Christians on earth to make a difference. But have we done a very good job? There was a time close to the beginning of the last century when Christians thought that the world would get better and better until finally Christ would just stop by for a visit and decide to stay. That thought pretty much went away with the First World War. I wonder why we haven't made more of an impact in our world? We've reached a point where when it comes to Christians and the World, you can't tell the players without a program.

If the establishment of the Church after Christ's resurrection is the meaning, then I can accept that. Hmmm, is the Church the way it is now a true picture of Heaven? Will there be fussing and fighting in Heaven? Will there be gossip and backbiting in Heaven? I don't think so. So if the Church on earth is any thing like Heaven...Well... I sure hope not.

I suppose it could be that this is talking about Christ's return to earth to set up his Kingdom. I wonder what that will be like. I haven't read the last book in the Left Behind series, so I'm not sure what that will be like. Revelations talks about a new Heaven and a new Earth. It sounds exciting, but I'm not sure the people to whom Christ was talking would have understood it, anyway.

Whatever it means, if Christ thought it was good enough to pray for, I will, too. It really sounds cool, though. So just in case he really meant that Christians should make a difference in the world, and that we should create Heaven on Earth... I guess through the guidance of the Spirit, I'll do what I can to create a bit of Heaven on earth everywhere I go.

Father, you want your Kingdom to be here on earth. If that's the case you are going to need some subjects in your Kingdom. I want to volunteer for that job... and I'll do my best to get some others involved, too. Does that make Heaven like Amway? If I join up, and then get a few of my friends to join up, eventually I'll go direct.... ly to Heaven? Doesn't matter, I like the thoughts of the retirement plan. Help me to be aware of opportunities to make a difference in the world. I ask you to be with each of your other subjects here on earth, my brothers and sisters in Christ, today. Thank you for putting your faith in me. Thank you for trusting me to be your representative. I'll do what I can not to let you down.
- posted by Steve R. @ 5:53 AM

 
"This, then, is how you should pray:
" 'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name, " Matthew 6:9

Christ has been talking about how not to pray. Now he is going to give us an example: The Lord's Prayer. Some people call it the model prayer. In our day and age, I suppose it could be called a prayer template. It seems people are always wanting to know how to pray more effectively. One "form" of prayer I learned was the ACTS method.
A - Adoration --- Acknowledging the Greatness of God
C - Confession --- Confessing our sins
T - Thanksgiving --- Thanking God for all that He has done
S - Supplication --- This is where we beg.

There has been a lot of discussion as to whether prayer should be read or whether they should come from the heart in a stream of (un)consciousness. Whether our eyes should be closed and our hands folded,or even our position during prayer... on our knees, standing, or lying prostrate. There have been thousands of books written about prayer and hundreds on this model prayer. In a lot of litergical services it is quoted, sometimes so fast that all you hear is the Aaaaah-meeeeen at the end.

It's a simple prayer, very much in line to the admonishments of the previous verses. It starts "Our Father which art in Heaven...". God is our Father. For some people, that may not be a positive. I have been fortunate to have a father who has sought the best for my life. He has been supportive, loving, and a true leader of our family. Many have no idea who their earthly father may be. Other fathers have been abusive and not good role models. I wonder if these words cause their skin to crawl? I wonder if it makes them angry to think of God as their father?

"Hallowed be thy name." I've always had problems understanding what "hallowed" means. The dictionary definition is "worthy of religious veneration". Gee, that helps. Veneration is defined as "a profound emotion inspired by a deity". So, putting it together, it means the name of God is worthy of a profound emotion. The words to the chorus of Bart Millard's song "I Can Only Imagine" come to mind:

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Hallelujah? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

Father, today has been an interesting day. Flying from Florida to D.C. I am still reminded that your creation poses no match for man as we flew through the storms. I'm thankful that my understanding of Father is a positive one... that you have seen fit to allow us these years together to learn more about each other and to appreciate each other more in our maturing years. It is truly awesome to think that you... the creator of the universe... considers me your child. I love you, Dad.
- posted by Steve R. @ 10:12 AM